The Sixth Sense

Resting from and for work

Over time I have heard lots of varying thoughts on rest. Most of these have been helpful in one way or another, though I had being told that this is how I must rest.

It was apparent from the conversation the other day that we all find different things restful. The key is not to identify rest as what others say is restful for them but to find the things that are restful for you.

Using broad strokes, it seems there are however two ways in which people rest. Some people are ‘doing resters‘ and others are ‘being resters‘.

Again, I don’t think there is a right or wrong here. It about identifying the things that reenergise us. For me personally, I need do nothing time to feel rested and refreshed. I need space to just be. I might right. I might listen to music. I might, literally, do nothing.

For others - like my wife Rachel - this is as close to hell as she can get this side of eternity. She likes to be doing something. Needs some kind of agenda or focus. And, typically, wants to be around others. This is how she recharges.

As a quick throw-in here, knowing how each other rests in a marriage or partnerships is going to help a lot!

Anyway, none of this links with the title so far. It’s one thing to know how we rest, it is another thing to understand why we rest. Like anything, if we don’t understand the why, we won’t value it.

I have seen two categories of people when it comes to the why of work. There are those who work, work, work and then pretty much collapse in exhaustion. They find themselves resting from work (not always by choice!).

Then there are those who see that our design as human beings is such that we are wired for work. Things start to go wrong when we’re not working. And so we rest in order to be able to do work.

My suspicion is that most people’s approach to rest is that of resting from work. Our approach to work is that it is something that we quite like to not have to do. We live for our rest (weekends, holidays, etc).

I actually think we need to understand rest in both senses. We work hard, give everything, and then take a deserved break. But we also need to understand that work is part of our make up as human beings. We need to find ways to connect purpose to our work that goes deeper than a pay check.

When we connect our work to a larger sense of purpose and meaning it makes sense that we rest in order to be able to give our all to that. We take time to get recharged so we can give our work our best.

What do you think?

In search of truth

Enjoyed this on Paulo Coelho’s blog today:

The devil was talking to his friends when they noticed a man walking along a road. They watched him pass and saw that he bent down to pick something up.

- What did he find? - asked one of the friends.

- A piece of Truth - answered the devil.

The friends were very concerned. After all, a piece of Truth might save that man’s soul - one less in Hell. But the devil remained unmoved, gazing at the view.

- Aren’t you worried? - said one of his companions.

- He found a piece of Truth!

- I’m not worried - answered the devil.

- Do you know what he’ll do with the piece?

As usual, he’ll create a new religion. And he’ll succeed in distancing even more people from the whole Truth.

Any thoughts?

Familiar anyone?!

My friend, Chris, sent me this yesterday which I thought I’d share with you all:

I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway,
I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

As I start toward the garage,
I notice mail on the porch table that
I brought up from the mail box earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys on the table,
put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,
and notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back
on the table, and take out the garbage first.

But then I think,
since I’m going to be near the mailbox
when I take out the garbage anyway,
I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my checkbook off the table,
and see that there is only one check left.

My extra checks are in my desk in the study,
so I go inside the house to my desk, where
I find the can of Pepsi I’d been drinking.

I’m going to look for my checks,
but first, I need to push the Pepsi aside
so that I don’t accidentally knock it over.

The Pepsi is getting warm,
and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Pepsi,
a vase of flowers on the counter
catches my eye — they need water.

I put the Pepsi on the counter and
discover my reading glasses that
I’ve been searching for all morning.

I decide I’d better put them back on my desk,
but first I’m going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter,
fill a container with water, and suddenly spot the TV remote.
Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight, when we go to watch TV,
I’ll be looking for the remote,
but I won’t remember that it’s on the kitchen table,
so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs.
But first I’ll water the flowers.

I pour some water on the flowers,
but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

So, I set the remote back on the table,
get some towels, and wipe up the spill.

Then, I head down the hall, trying to
remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:

The car isn’t washed.
The bills aren’t paid.
There is a warm can of Pepsi sitting on the counter.
The flowers don’t have enough water.
There is still only one check in my check book.
I can’t find the remote.
I can’t find my glasses,
and I don’t remember what I did with the car keys.
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,
I’m really baffled, because I know I was busy all day,
and I’m really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem,
and I’ll try to get some help for it,
but first, I’ll check my e-mail….

Anyone struggle with this?!

How do you rest?

I’ve been giving a lot of thought to ‘rest‘ lately. You know, taking some time out, having a day off, slowing down, chilling out, etc.

I want to explore this some more in future blog posts but, as part of this focus, I wanted to generate some conversation about this first.

Something I’m pretty convinced of is that rest looks different for each of us. For me, being around lots of people is not at all restful. For my wife Rachel though, so is so energised and refreshed being around others.

For one person, reading my be restful. And for another, climbing up a mountain may just be the restful tonic they need.

So, here’s the question. What do you find restful? How do you like to rest when you get the chance?

What do you think?

Back where you started

Have you ever embarked on a journey into the unknown to leave your present circumstances behind, only, before long, to find yourself right back where you started?

You head off into a new future, leaving the past behind. You’ve reached desperation point and you’ve simply had to make a move. New job. New city. New partner. New anything.

At first it all seems fantastic. Life is fresh. Circumstances seem so much better. You’re no longer around those people who annoyed you so much. There’s no boredom from driving down the same city streets on route to work. Everything is perfect.

And then it isn’t. The dream starts to become a reality. The people conflicts you’d fled from find new life with the new people in your life. The new city isn’t perfect after all. Work is still work wherever you are.

Before you know it either circumstances or choices slowly (or sometimes rapidly) lead you ‘home’.

The wonderful thing is that back ‘home’ everything is better. The problems which before seemed insurmountable now feel manageable. People who were grating are enjoyable again. Your city feels like your city again.

But nothing fundamentally has changed. Nothing that is except you.

What do you think?

Mental blocks - why Andy Murray lost

I knew Andy Murray would lose the US Open Final. I’m not a prophet or psychic or anything. I just knew. How? Because he had already won his final. Beating Rafa Nadal was a huge mental breakthrough having lost each of their previous contests.

This is the classic sporting situation. It happens in most sports. Teams beat opposition that they should never have beaten only to surrender meekly in the following round.

For whatever reason, many sportsmen and teams suffer from this mental block. They have a major - and perhaps unlikely victory - only to then struggle in the next round.

Here’s why I think this is. It’s because they don’t have high enough expectations. Their goal is not winning the competition (no matter what they say otherwise); it is winning the immediate contest.

It is not the goals that you say out loud that count; it is the goals we truly believe deep down that define us. Andy Murray will have looked at the draw, seen he had to face Rafa Nadal in the semi-final, and known immediately and that was THE match of the competition.

Sure he will have dreamt of winning the whole thing. And, of course, he said he believed he could win it. But as soon as beating Nadal became THE match, the competition was lost.

Of course, next time round, facing Nadal is a totally different proposition. This makes his future chances of success in a major tennis tournament far more likely.

This all leads to some interesting questions for the rest of us. Whilst it’s unlikely we’ll face circumstances quite like Andy Murray, we do all have goals and ambitions which each have coinciding obstacles. What are the mental blocks we may have holding us back from getting to where we want to get?

What do you think?

Living a life of perpetual risk

I have yet another great quote from ‘Story’ by Robert McKee for you today:

“Life teaches that the measure of the value of any human desire is in direct proportion to the risk involved in its pursuit. The higher the value, the higher the risk. We give the ultimate values to those things that demand the ultimate risks - our freedom, our lives, our souls. This imperative of risk, however, is far more than an aesthetic principle, it’s rooted in the deepest source of our art. For we not only create stories as metaphors for life, we create them as metaphors for meaningful life - and to live meaningfully is to be at perpetual risk.”

That last sentence really jumped out at me. ‘To live meaningfully is to be at perpetual risk’. When you stop to think about it though, that is the essence of adventure. And the truth is we all crave adventure. Somewhere deep within us, we want our lives to be part of something larger than ourselves, something with meaning. 

The reality however is that we typically end up settling for cheap imitations. Instead of living a life of adventure we cover up the desire with watching just enough movies or playing adventure games on the PlayStation. But the truth is, there’s nothing like being in an adventure yourself. Even if it doesn’t always feel great at the time!

If living a life of perpetual risk is what it takes to have a meaningful, adventurous life, are we prepared to go there? It’s so easy to end up choosing the easiest, safest, most comfortable option. I hope to use my life both to live on an adventure and inspire as many people as possible to do the same.

What do you think?

Photo’s from Lille

I’ve been really slow in getting this online, but you can see our pictures from our May bank holiday weekend in Lille if you follow this link.

Human Potential - a new small business

For years now I have been fascinated by human potential. I love watching people making the most of their talents. I love seeing organisations be the best they can possibly be. Ultimately, I love seeing both people and organisations move from good to great.

It is because of this that I’m so excited about starting my own small business that will focus on human potential and helping both individuals and organisations unleash that potential.

The next six months are going to be geared to getting everything setup, incorporating the company, building the brand, and developing courses, training, and coaching material. From January 1st 2009 I will be looking for the new business to sustain me for one and a half days. And we’ll see how it goes from there.

It feels like a fresh challenge and one that I’m so looking forward to embarking on.

To the future!

All change

I mentioned in a previous post at the start of June that there were some changes on the horizon. Well I thought I’d go public with what’s going on!

For those of you who don’t know, since December 1999 I have worked full time as an IT administrator with a firm of accountants here in Sheffield. My work with Mosaic has always been something in addition to this. It keeps me busy!

From next week though my number of days with my employer is going to be reduced to 4 days per week. And then I am going to be doing 1 day a week with Mosaic. I’m excited about the change and opportunity.

Not only this, from next January I am going to be dropping to 2.5 days with my current employer and am looking to set up my own business focussed primarily on human potential consultancy.

I’ll share more about the specifics of both my work with Mosaic and the new business in later posts, but I thought I’d get the basics out on the table. I know some of you have been waiting with baited breath since that last post!