Today’s article is by regular guest columist Russ Murphy, founder of Walkabout Consulting.

I’ve been mesmerized by the coverage of Michael Jackson these last few days, and amidst all the hype, sorrow and disdain, I’ve been trying to extract something meaningful.

Jackson was clearly an innovator, engaging what was to become a revolution in music videos, and using it to his advantage, telling stories, creating experiences and pushing boundaries. He created new dance pieces, many of which are still mimicked on dance floors across the world today. He sold more albums than any other artist, at one stage pumping out a million copies of Thriller each day. The man had some talent. Among many of the tweets and status updates over the last week regarding MJ, the most common seemed to be that many of us can mark our memories with his songs.

First dance moves you ever learnt?

Moonwalk.

First Kiss?

Remember the time.

First album you owned?

Dangerous.

Favourite Music Video?

Thriller

MJ was a success by anyone’s standards. He was wealthy enough to build his own theme park, and who didn’t want to do that when you were younger? He was also wealthy enough to buy the rights to the Beatles catalogue; he has been apparently been making money off it ever since. By anyone’s standards, he was a shrewd businessman. MJ allegedly created a fictitious persona around the time he split from the Jackson 5 and went solo. He personally created a media storm and orchestrated the frenzy surrounding him; much in the same way he orchestrated hit music. He wanted to control the press, and protect himself from the watchful eye of the media. He wanted to spike interest in himself, and he became the first A-List celebrity we took an interest in. Before Brad and Angelina, there was Michael and Lisa-Marie. Before the Britney Spears meltdown, there was the Michael Jackson hyperbaric chamber. Bloggers like Perez Hilton owe their careers to MJ for creating, fuelling and monetizing celebrity gossip.

He was also a broken human being. He spoke often of the abuse he suffered at the hands of his Father. He lived under a cloud of racial ambiguity; was he black or white? He escaped charges of sexual twice in his lifetime, and regardless of what happened, he took an unusual interest in children. I think this is where our fascination with Michael Jackson runs deepest; because most of us can’t relate to his spectacular ability, his genius in the studio and on the stage. Not many of us who bought his albums or mimicked his moves would suggest we are as ruthless and shrewd as he was business wise.

But we can all relate to his brokenness.

We all have an experience of feeling flawed, or being used or abused, or of not living up to the standards others have set for us. Whenever Michael Jackson came crashing back to earth, it was a reminder that at the core like one of us; deeply flawed, and keenly aware of it. Statistics reveal that just like MJ, we are the most medicated and mentally ill generation ever to inhabit the earth. It doesn’t matter if it’s ADD, OCD, anorexia, depression, Bi-polar or anxiety…we are well acquainted with the language of dysfunction. We become familiar with our flaws and we go to great lengths to overcome them. MJ is like our ambassador as a fragmented, depressed and recovering generation. Why else are we so fascinated with him?

Where we don’t connect with him is how he lived from his strengths…most of us could learn a thing or two from MJ about living out of our greatness, despite our flaws and failings. Singing, dancing, creating, innovating and managing the media…these were likely his greatest strengths. But his dance moves were perfected after hours of rehearsal. His songs were cultivated through endless hours at a piano or sound desk. His tours involved legendary amounts of brainstorming, choreography and sweat to become the compelling experiences people describe them as. He dug up his talent, and made decision after decision to live from and develop the very best of himself. MJ had to deal with the painful consequences of his flaws; like all of us will. But he never, ever, surrendered from living out of his greatness.

You and I likely haven’t had the opportunities MJ had to succeed; chances are that no one observed our talent from a young age and drew it out of us. We weren’t given stages to show off our talent, offered record deals or beaten into using our talent. But that doesn’t mean we aren’t good at anything. It means we need to do some work ourselves, and shift our focus from our flaws to our potential.

If a man as broken and flawed as Michael Jackson can live life from his strengths, then surely there is hope for the rest of us…

One theme that we’ll regularly come back to here at Awaken is that of serving others. It is not possible to live a great life in isolation. True success is always built with and alongside others. Failure to recognise this reality will consistently undermine your pursuit of fulfilling your potential.

As some of you will already be aware, I am part of a great community of faith called Mosaic. Last night a few of us met to actually discuss a story most of us will almost certainly be familiar with: the parable of the good Samaritan.

Jesus told this story in response to a key question: who is my neighbour? And the story highlights something that is true regardless of whether we have any particular religious preference of not. It is about looking out for the person in need. In a sense, our neighbour is the person we see in need whom we’re in a position to help out.

It’s easy to see our friends and family as ‘neighbours’. But is it really that noble to look out for the needs of those we instinctively care about? Frankly, no.

The parable of the good Samaritan is great in that it transcends religion. In fact, the religious guys screwed up and walked straight by the guy in need. Jesus is saying that if it is in your power to do good, then make sure you do it.

It is worth noting too that the Samaritan went out of his way to meet the need of the person he stumbled across. Being a neighbour to our fellow humans – known or unknown, friend or enemy – will never be an easy option. It’s a tough choice. It will cost us. But this is when we come alive.

Awaken is all about helping people live life fully alive. Serving others and being a good neighbour is at the heart of living life fully alive. It frees us from the monotony of a self-orientated life to a life of true impact and importance.

You will never be without fear. There will always be obstacles and challenges that provoke and generate fear. Fear is not something that you can just make disappear.

This leaves us with a critical reality. Will we allow our fear to stop us or will be press on in spite of the fear?

Courage is not the absence of fear; courage is about doing the right thing afraid. Don’t wait until the fear is gone before making that tough decision. Don’t wait until you’re no longer afraid to leave the safety of a comfortable job and pursue the life of your dreams. You’ll be waiting your all life.

Just do what you need to do. Do the right thing. Make that hard choice. I know you’re afraid. I know you have fear permeating every nerve in your body and mind. We all do. My fear may not be your fear. That doesn’t matter. We all have to face our own fears. And we don’t face them by trying to make them disappear; we face them by doing what is the right thing to do in spite of the fear.

Stop waiting. Don’t waste another moment of your life allowing fear to hold your back. Press on. Seize your potential. Do it afraid.

For the last seven or eight weeks I’ve been attending an improv comedy workshop every Monday night. It’s been a whole lot of fun! I’m not amazing by any stretch of the imagination, but I’ve been learning lots and have enjoyed being outside of my comfort zone.

Learning about improv through all the exercises and games has taught me lots. Not only about performing improv but about life. After all, life is ALL about improvisation. We are constantly having to adapt to the ever changing circumstances going on around us. We can have all the five year plans we life, but they’ll always get upset by things going on now. And when that happens, we have to improvise.

One of the key things I have learnt about improv is listening. All of the best and funniest improv moments emerge out of great listening. We listen to what the person is saying and improvise about that.

Let me give an example. A few weeks ago we did this game where, in two’s, you create a scene based on something (an object, a setting, a relationship) you are given. When we were doing this, I was imagining the whole scene in my own head. I had it all planned out. And so I turned my whole scene with this other person into me trying to get my story out. It bombed. Why? I wasn’t listening to what was happening. I was ignoring everything the other person was saying.

We did this game again last night and I did a much better job. I responded and built the scene with the people I was improvising with. I let the story unfold rather than forcing my story into it. It was a whole lot funnier and more engaging.

This is true to life as well. If we have this set plan in our heads and ignore what is going on around us, we miss out on so many opportunities. Moments are there to be seized, not lost in our own self-inflicted slavery to five year plans.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s great to have plans and long term dreams. These are important. Just don’t become so enslaved to them that you fail to adapt and improvise to the realities of life.

Listen!

How much of your time are you giving to things you can realistically do nothing about? It is so easy to waste copious amounts of time focussing on issues and situations that are beyond the realms of our control.

This is what happens when we give too much place to worry and anxiety. They end up pulling us away from the areas where we can actually do something and focus our minds in the wrong places.

I’ll be the first to admit the focus isn’t something that comes the easiest to me. Some people have this as a natural, innate talent. Not me. And maybe not you. But that doesn’t mean we can afford the luxury of focussing on the wrong things. The truth is that we are all focussing on something. The challenge is to make sure we place our focus in the right areas.

What are some things that you could actually change this week if you really focussed on it? What steps could you take to move forward rather than moving backwards by worrying about things you can’t change?

Focus on the things you can do something about.

Our imagination has the power to either cripple us or propel us to heights the previously seemed impossible. Far more than our skills and knowledge, our imagination will determine our future.

It was Albert Einstein who said:

Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world, and all there ever will be to know and understand.

The imagination in and of itself is neither good or bad. It’s how we use it that matters. If we allow our minds to be shaped entirely by negative thoughts then that will shape how we use our imagination. We will imagine worst case scenarios. We’ll use our imagination to think up all of the things that could end up going wrong. And, in doing so, our future is crippled by our imagination. Our lives end up following the direction of our imagination.

If on the other hand our minds are filled with positive thoughts, possibilities rather than impossibilities, then our imagination can propel us into the future. We become the things we think about. Think negatively and before long you’ll have become a negative person. Think positively and, without even intending too, you’ll have become a positive person. Our lives head in the directions of our thoughts.

Just yesterday I received some really bad news. It creates all kinds of problems on so many levels. Honestly, I feel pretty down right now. And yet I am compelled to look for the opportunity in this situation. There is always something good that can come out of every situation. It’s not easy, but I’m choosing to set my mind on the possibilities and opportunities rather than the potential problems and issues.

Not that I’m in denial. Being positive is about choosing to see the positive in the midst of the negative; it’s not about pretending there isn’t a negative.

Let’s allow our imaginations to propel us positively into the future rather than trap us in the past.

Last month I wrote that leadership only started making sense to me when it became personal. I wrote about Oliver Tambo and the significant role that he played in South Africa. Leadership starts with taking responsibility of your own life.

I work with many people in my coaching practice who blame their unfulfilled lives on those around them, when they themselves hold the key, and that key is taking ownership of their own lives through personal leadership. If you do not lead yourself others will. The problem with others leading you is that you will end up where they want you to be and not where you want to be!

John Ortberg once wrote about a medical condition called: FTT

“Those initials would go on the chart of an infant who, often for unknown reasons, was unable to gain weight or grow.

Failure to thrive.

Sometimes, they guess, it happens when a parent or care-giver is depressed, and the depression seems to get passed down. Sometimes something seems to be off in an infant’s metabolism for reasons no one can understand, so FTT is one of those mysterious phrases that sounds like an explanation but explains nothing.”

How sad that these babies die within 7-10 days! There is no will to live. But do you know what is even sadder? What’s even sadder are healthy people suffering from FTT.

In my coaching practice I find people who physically overcame FTT but emotionally, spiritually, intellectually they suffer from FTT. These people just survive, waiting for the end, no purpose and no personal leadership! They expect life to work out, but they do not take the ownership. Why is your life not working out? Are you leading yourself?

It’s Wednesday. And Wednesday means it’s #StrengthsDay. Every Wednesday we profile one persons top five StrengthsFinder themes. We ask the person some key questions and explore these themes in more detail.

Not only this, anyone who shares any of the five themes is encouraged to join in as well and share your experiences with that particular theme. The more voices, the richer the conversation.

This week we’re profiling Brett Valenstein. Brett has these five themes:

• Input
  • People strong in the Input Theme have a craving to know more. Often they like to collect and archive all kinds of information.
• Ideation
  • People strong in the Ideation Theme are fascinated by ideas. They are able to make new connections between seemingly disparate phenomena.
• Strategic
  • People strong in the Strategic Theme create alternative ways to proceed. Faced with any given scenario, they can quickly spot the relevant patterns and issues.
• Learner
  • People strong in the Learner Theme have a great desire to learn and want to continuously improve. In particular, the process of learning, rather than the outcome, excites them.
• Self-Assurance
  • People strong in the Self-Assurance Theme feel confident in their ability to manage their own lives. They have an inner compass that gives them confidence that their decisions are right.

As always, we’re going to ask Brett to kick the conversation off by answer the following questions:

1. Can you start by sharing a little about who you are and what you do?
2. Which of your five talent themes do you feel is your strongest? Why?
3. Which talent theme seems to fit you the best? Why?
4. Are any of your talent themes misunderstood by the people around you, if so why do you think that is?
5. Do you have any talent themes that you’re really not sure why it came up or were surprised by? Why?
6. What other questions do you have?

Make sure you check back later to see how the conversation is unfolding.

What question do we need to regularly ask ourselves to check that we are energised and not drained? The question you need to ask won’t be the same as anyone else. We all need to identify the health check question that checks we are staying on the path to maximising our potential.

For me, the question I need to ask myself is how much space do I have for dreaming, imagining, and creating. If I don’t have enough space for this, no matter what I’m doing, I start to become drained.

I need space to think about the future, I need space for ideas and creative thinking. These are the things that keep me fresh in every aspect of life. If these things are happening, pretty much everything else will be alright too.

What’s your question? What are the areas that breathe life into you? What are the activities that energise you? Create your life potential health check question around these. No matter what, you need to make sure you protect the activities that energise you even when life becomes snowed under by the urgency of now. If we don’t protect the things that energise us we will start to feel more and more swamped.

Not only this, the quality of your work will start to deteriorate. Staying energised makes every aspect of life go better. Allowing ourselves to become drained starts to erode our perspective on life and eat away at our attempts to maximise our potential.

This is why it is so important to know our health check question and ask ourselves it on a regular basis.

This weekend just gone has been one of those manic yet wonderful times. As many of you will know, me and Rachel (my wife) had a beautiful baby girl called Eloise on the 28th January this year. And this Saturday was the day we arranged to have a thanksgiving celebration and blessing. It was fantastic.

It was so good to have so many friends and family all come to join us in giving thanks for this amazing treasure that we’ve been given to look after.

As I’ve been reflecting on the day I’ve been really struck afresh by just how important it is to take time to celebrate special moments in life and to pause and give thanks.

Life can become so busy. We get caught up in a whirlwind. We go from one thing to the next without a moments break.

And yet life becomes so much richer when we do take moments to pause, celebrate, and give thanks. It reminds of what we have and why we are doing what we’re doing. Celebrating and thanksgiving help to bring perspective.

Clearly there are different levels to this. There are the big occasions like we had with baby Eloise this Saturday, but I think it’s important to find moments to celebrate and give thanks for every day.

Linked with this, I want to kick off this week on Awaken by setting us a challenge. Let’s choose this week to find moments to celebrate and give things for every day and then, come Friday, take some time to reflect on what difference it has made to our week.

Why not start this first day of the week off by leaving a comment about something or someone you’re thankful for or something you want to celebrate?

Who’s up for the challenge?!