“Just killing time”
I heard someone say they were ‘just killing time’ the other day and for some reason it was like it set alarm bells ringing in my mind. It stirred up a renewed determination to make sure that that is something that could never be said of my own life.
It’s so easy to drift through life merely existing. Getting up, going to work, coming home, slumping in front of the tv, going to bed. It amazes me for how many people that description IS their life. There is no purpose. No passion. They are, literally, just killing time.
This got me thinking. What are some ways to help protect ourselves from a life that is nothing more than just killing time? Are there things we can do to make sure we are truly living and not just existing?
And, not only this, but when do we lose it? You look at students full of passion, looking to do something amazing with their life and yet, for so many, a few years down the line and they’re just killing time. Going through the motions. Climbing up the various life ladders (career, property, etc.) that supposedly define success. What goes wrong? When do we stop being fully alive?
August 19th, 2008 at 6:47 pm
Wow. That really hit home.
August 20th, 2008 at 1:08 am
I think about this a lot. I can think of a number of reasons it happens. One is that people sometimes don’t know what they want - you can’t hit what you can’t see, can’t steer a ship if you don’t know where it’s headed, etc.
Then I think there are people who don’t realise that they really can do almost anything they want, if they want it enough.
That leads on to another possibility, of people really not wanting it enough to see it happen. They’re people who know they ‘would kinda like’ to do something big and exciting, but who are comfortable enough with their status quo that they lack the motivation to make the effort and changes necessary to get anything done - or, to put it another way, people who are too lazy to start something with their lives. Now, I’m not saying they’re essentially Lazy People and thus bad and wrong and useless. They could be very diligent in their day-job, loving family members, good neighbours, or whatever else. It’s just that they happen to be stuck in their rut because they lack the will to change it, which is one definition of laziness. Please do argue me on this - I’d like very much not to have to come to this conclusion about a lot of people.
Hmm, re-reading your post, you talk about students being all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. When I ponder this I largely thing of people who never even had the buzz during the student phase. I think people really need it drummed into them at an early age that there are no limits to what they can do, and that they should aim as high as they want. I think some kids just don’t get that.
August 20th, 2008 at 3:33 am
So, I don’t know what to say to this yet. Every time I would find myself sitting today your post came to mind.
Then I felt like I needed to get up and do something. I guess I need to reevaluate what it is I do, and decide if it is worth my time at that moment.
August 20th, 2008 at 10:39 am
Doubi - thanks for the comments. I think you’re right with much of what you’re saying. But that leads to the question, how do we inspire and encourage people to want more from their lives? I’ve seen people transition away from a life of apathy to one filled with passion and intention, so I don’t doubt that it is possible. The challenge is thinking about how we can encourage and motivate more people to make this transition.
I do think that a lot of the time people just don’t realise that more is possible. If they’ve grown un in an environment that hasn’t modeled passion and purpose, they don’t know anything different. I have peope look genuine amazed as the hear about some of the things I get up to.
We were chatting with some people recently and they were saying how our life was going to change, we wouldn’t be able to do much any more, etc, etc, as a result of my wife Rachel now being pregnant. We then said that we’re already planning a trip to work with a charity in Johannesburg next July, baby strapped to the back! I think they thought we were joking.
I think that life is meant the be an adventure. And I want to raise my kids in an environment of adventure. The truth is though, that we all face an endless temptation to choose comfort and security over adventure (with it’s accompanying unknowns).
August 20th, 2008 at 10:44 am
Deana - my post wasn’t there to suggest that sitting down is now illegal! I know you know that. In fact, I think rest is key to living a life that we don’t end up killing time. I’m going to be blogging about this in the next day or so I think. When rest and relaxation is intentional it fuels us for our life’s mission.
But thinking through whether we are making the best use of our time is an important process for us all to go through periodically I think.
August 21st, 2008 at 1:17 am
I’d like to hear about the people you know who transitioned away from a life of apathy to one filled with passion and intention. I know it’s possible of course and it does happen, but I fret because I have the impression that it often happens as a result of factors which I can’t replicate in other people; near-death experiences, losing a loved one, spiritual awakening and the like. Positive results for those individuals are wonderful of course, but it doesn’t give me a practical plan with which I can try to help others ^_^;
Looking forward to your post on rest & relaxation. My new year’s resolution for this year was to stop going to sleep instead of getting stuck into work I have to do. I find thinking and relating what I’m doing right now to the big picture helps, like Deana said. Still working on it though <:S
August 26th, 2008 at 12:11 pm
Hi Doubi, apologies for slow response…been away on a long weekend. You’re right about it often taking factors that can’t be easily replicated that cause people to transition away from apathy to a life of passion and purpose. And it is definitely true that you can’t force people to become something that don’t want to become.
I think inviting people into meaningful experiences helps. My wife and I took a team out to work with a charity in Diepsloot, Johannesburg (where much of the recent violence was) in January this year. One of the girls on the team is completely looking to reorientate her life as a result. She had very different plans for when she finished uni, but is now busy saving so that she can go and spend a year with the charity in 2009.
It’s certainly not the only way, but providing opportunities for people to do something meaningful and seem to trigger people wanting their whole lives to be more full of meaning.
August 27th, 2008 at 1:03 pm
Hmm, very interesting! I hadn’t thought of that as a method of growing people’s vision. Thanks